Fic: [SGA] Unexpected Direction (PG)

[skinscript]

Title: An Unexpected Direction
Author: skinscript
Rating: G
Spoilers: 5.11 The Lost Tribe
Wordcount: 400-ish
Posted to: sga_episodefic, mckay_sheppard
Genre: Humour, Friendship
Summary: John tries to brag about Larrin. Rodney takes the conversation in an entirely unexpected direction.

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"So. Apparently, Larrin talks about me." John felt justifiably smug.

"Huh." McKay seemed unimpressed. John decided it was because he wasn't paying attention. Ronon grunted and took a long drink of his juice.

"I said, Larrin talks about me. To the other Travellers." John prodded. "All the time."

This time Rodney looked up. "Ok," he said, waving a hand dissmissively. "Isn't that wonderful, yadda yadda. Congratulations on reaching the virtual age of twelve." He took a swig of his coffee. "Anyway. I don't like her." He returned to poking at his laptop.

"You don't..." John choked on his bite of bagel, fought it back down to where it was supposed to go. "You don't like her? Why not?"

Rodney growled with irritation and slammed the laptop lid closed. "Why not? How about that she's kidnapped you... twice! And both times has tied you up and had you beaten! Now, unless you like that sort of thing..." His eyes widened comically and practically bugged out of his head in horrified fascination. "Oh. My. GOD! You DO, don't you? You LIKE it!"

John frowned, wondering how he'd lost control of the conversation so thoroughly so quickly. "Rodney, I..."

But McKay was on a roll. "I knew it! I mean, I knew you had some kinky traits, but honestly, I was thinking more like toys or maybe blindfolding, possibly cross dressing, cause no one comments on decor so much and doesn't like SILK, but tied up and punched around..."

As his voice rose, others in the cafeteria started to notice. Heads turned, eyebrows raised. John tried to sink lower in his chair. Rodney steamrollered on.

"Or, ooh! I know! I could see you being into knifeplay or gunplay, with the whole soldier thing..."

John felt his face burning. "Rodney!"

"Or maybe tattoos, or, or... oh! I know! Furries!"

"WHAT?"

"You know, furries! That's where people dress up in full-body costumes and then..."

"Yes, I know furries!"

"I had a feeling you did." McKay waggled his eyebrows.

"That's not what I ... Look. Shut up."

"Ha! No problem." Rodney guzzled the last of his coffee and tucked his laptop under his arm. "Hey. Let me know if you need any help finding .. uh." He gestured vaguely. "Material. It's amazing what people upload to the server. I could help you out." He strode out.

Was Rodney seriously offering to find him porn???

John rubbed his forehead and wished fervently for an aspirin. Or, possibly, a handful.

Ronon finished his bagel and leaned toward John. "So," he said confidentially, "Being tied up and hit. You like that, huh?"

-30-

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Comments

[sulien77.livejournal.com]

*still laughing my ass off* Oh, ow...my side hurts! This so should have been the canon ending! Thank you, I needed that laugh. *wipes tears from eyes, still chuckling*

[skinscript.livejournal.com]

It would be awesome if the writers decided to do something like this!

Glad you liked it, and glad I could give you a laugh!