skinscript | Fic: [SGA] A Transient Memory (PG)

Entry tags:

Fic: [SGA] A Transient Memory (PG)

Title: A Transient Memory
Author:

skinscript
Rating: G
Genre: General
Spoilers: Broken Ties (5.03)
Warnings: I think I swore in here somewhere.
Wordcount: ~950
Disclaimer: Seriously?
Posted at:

sga_episodefic

Summary: Broken Ties episode tag. Lorne is the only one left who knows, and Rodney would just as soon keep it that way.

Tyre stank.

Lorne wrinkled his nose as he helped Rampersad prepare the unconscious bastard for transport back to Atlantis. Sheppard and McKay had retreated to give them room. McKay had his hand over his mouth as he glared down at Tyre, and Lorne had to admit he wouldn't want to be in Tyre's shoes when he woke up. McKay could be *scary*.

They rolled Tyre onto his side to fit the stretcher under his back, sending up another invisible cloud of odour. Rampersad choked a little, and Lorne felt his whole face twist as the smell penetrated to his tongue this time. Stale, rancid sweat, old vomit, wet not-wool and urine, all laced through with this bitter sickly taint that was hauntingly familiar and absolutely fucking disgusting. He pushed Tyre onto the stretcher and leaned away, coughing until his throat burned with trying to get that damned stench out of his mouth.

"Here." Something clanked against his tac vest, and he took the offered canteen gratefully without even looking up. A long swallow, swish, and spit later he tilted his head back, holding the canteen up.

"Thanks," he managed to force out, turning to face his benefactor. "God, what is that smell?" His eyes lifted to McKay's face as he rapidly twisted the cap back onto his canteen, and suddenly remembered where he'd smelled it before. Oh. OH.

McKay was looking away, his face tight with things Lorne couldn't name. "Time to head out, Major," he said to the wall. "Let's get home."

Lorne shuffled his feet and lifted a hand to the door, then cursed under his breath and shoved it back in his pockets. What the hell was he doing here? Sure, McKay was tolerable enough, and yeah he'd come a long way in the last three years, but seriously, what was he thinking.

Well, actually, he knew the answer to that one. He was thinking about McKay. About the tight, closed expression on the Doc's face as they shifted Tyre, as they bitched about the smell. The smell that McKay knew all too goddamned well, and that was probably still haunting his dreams. Especially after having watched Tyre and then Ronon go through a familiar hell the last few days.

He couldn't get it out of his head.

Lorne gritted his teeth, and rang the chime.

Silence.

A quick push with closed eyes and Atlantis confirmed that McKay was inside. He bit his lip, undecided, then rang again. Nothing.

Ok. One more time, and he'd give it up.

He'd just turned on his heel to walk away when the door swished open behind him.

"I am not sharing my bath with...." McKay broke off midrant, eyes widening in surprise at seeing Lorne. "Uh. Well. Actually. Not with you either." He lifted his chin and tried to look dignified, but mostly just succeeded at looking wet. And bubbly. McKay yanked his blue bathrobe tighter around his waist and crossed his arms. A small white blob of bubbles teetered unsteadily on the top of his head, another stuck haphazardly to the side of his neck, half-obscuring his ear.

Lorne smiled involuntarily, scratched his head to cover his amusement. "Uh, hey Doc. Sorry to interrupt your bath."

"You interrupted some very important work, actually." McKay actually let go of his bathrobe to gesture vigorously, barely grabbing the loose edge before it revealed more than the good doctor likely had in mind. "The bath helps me ... helps me focus." Some expression flickered across his face too fast for Lorne to catch.

"Yeah. About that." He hesitated, then decided to go for broke and shouldered his way gently into McKay's room. "I was, uh." The Doc's eyes were going wider and wider, on the verge of panicking, and Lorne finished kind of desperately, "I was wondering if you were ok."

McKay frowned. "What?"

"Look, Doc. I know this thing with Ronon... I just wanted to check and make sure you're all right." Lorne shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "So... you ok?"

"What? Me?" McKay blinked at him rapidly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Lorne felt his mouth twist a little, heard himself go for sarcasm, barely managed to gentle it at the last second. "Cause enzyme withdrawal almost killed you?" Damn, McKay was exasperating sometimes.

"Oh," McKay said in a small voice. "With Elizabeth and Carson gone... no one said ... I guess I thought everyone who still remembered that was already gone."

And then, he'd say something like *that* and all the irritation would drain away. "Yeah." He really didn't know what else to say.

"I kind of ... well. Liked it that way, actually." He attempted a smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. "With no one knowing."

Lorne nodded. "Ok. Ok, well, I can have a very selective memory. If you ever needed me to remember, I could probably make the effort." He reached out and caught the little pile of bubbles on McKay's shoulder right before they slid off. The bubbles felt cool and light in his hand. He wiped them off against his hip and turned to leave.

"Major." McKay stopped him before he could reach the door. "Um. Thank you. For asking." He huffed a little self-deprecating laugh. "I'm ok." He considered an instant, then amended grudgingly, "mostly."

Lorne grinned at him, taking in the soaking wet bathrobe and cheerful bubbles hanging on here and there. "Yeah, Doc, you are."

The door opened behind him and he stepped through with a jaunty salute, bubbles still clinging to his fingers, evaporating like memories.

-30-

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Oh! That was good, so good. I love Lorne, I love that he's checking in on Rodney, SO MUCH LOVE!

Thanks! It bothered me that no one mentioned that Rodney had gone through the same kind of extreme withdrawal, nor that Ronon and Teyla had both been through it before (and Ford's guy died from it).

Then I realised that the only people who were a part of McKay's experience were Elizabeth and Carson, and it was entirely possible that no one else even knows about it, and so.. this.

Thanks for reviewing!

I did a long commentary discussion with a few fans after the episode aired comparing Rodney's withdrawal to Ronon's because they're very similar, yet their takes on it are slightly different.

Did you? Did you post it? I'd love to read that.

It was an after-episode situation, so it never got posted publicly. I'm always up for having the discussion again, though! :D

Ahhh. I'd be up for it. It's pretty striking -- especially if you're a Rodney-lover. DH just mentioned recently in answer to a question at Shoreleave (Ithink) that he had to really push not to have to play Rodney's withdrawal entirely for comedy, which is what tptb intended. He said he felt that the loss of control would have been Rodney's worst nightmare, as it obviously was for Ronon. It's a very wierd double standard. Anyway, if

skinscript would rather, we can always move the discussion to your lj or mine.

Feel free. I'm interested too.

It is typical of TPTB that they would want to play McKay torture for comedy. That tendency is my least favourite part of the show. *laughs*

thank you!

It's something about their idea about the characters as symbols, I think. (and I know I shouldn't generalize a "they", because there are some better (Gero), some worse (Cooper) about this). (The Hive was written by Carl Binder who isn't generally one to diminish McKay.)

Still, it's a general aspect of the show that Rodney's pain is seen as exaggerated, unimportant, self-serving, even when it's obviously real. I don't mind them poking general fun -- I mean there *is* something intrinsically funny about being shot in the ass with an arrow and then getting stoned on morphine and that *was* an appropriate time to play for laughs. But the withdrawal was clearly awful and I'm glad DH played it mostly straight. (I'm still sort of pissed with Elizabeth for being pissed with him for not mentioning Ford, Sheppard and the others as, had she been listening, she would have heard that he clearly said "Ford's planet"... but I TOTALLY digress. *g* Anyway I'm not sure what it is that makes it necessary to frame Rodney's pain as ridiculous and Ronon's pain as meaningful, but it's the same thing that allows them to categorize Rodney as unnatractive -- that is, whether the actor is pretty is immaterial, the character he's playing is meant to be plain.

Still, it's a general aspect of the show that Rodney's pain is seen as exaggerated, unimportant, self-serving, even when it's obviously real.
The episodes where this *doesn't* happen, where McKay is just allowed to be great are such a breath of fresh air. Or where it is *intelligently* played for comedy, like Siege I when Grodin turns on the gravity early, or even Grace Under Pressure where he gets it himself - they are so much better than the ones where it's inappropriately done, like Phantoms.

But hey - that's why characters have US, right? To correct all the wrongs done to them by their originators. (And, considering the plethora of whump out there, to beat the hell out of them ourselves).

I really do wish the writers showed a bit more ... awareness though. It makes me sad to realise I care more about their creations than they do.

DH just mentioned recently in answer to a question at Shoreleave (Ithink) that he had to really push not to have to play Rodney's withdrawal entirely for comedy

Yep, that's what actually kicked off the discussion. Being high on morphine, McKay can play it funny. Being addicted to the Wraith enzyme, not funny...sooo not funny.

The winner of the McKay / ADB vid contest actually had a discussion with David about how he prepared for the episode (the videos are on YouTube) and he was playing it on that edge of insanity that existed in the drug culture of the 60s where you feel as if the drug is expanding your mind and allowing a higher level of creativity, which causes the cycle of wanting more and needing it to maintain the current level of mental awareness. Rodney had the benefit of coming down from his addiction surrounded by people he thought (he knew) he could trust. Carson was a continued presence who, even though Rodney had paranoia and kept saying Carson was making him suffer on purpose, Rodney self-corrected it everytime and admitted he didn't know what he was saying and was talking off his head.

Jason was playing it more manic, which makes sense based on the level of addiction he was at and the brainwashing that Ronon had already endured to that point. He's been addicted before, so he's been through a lesser withdrawal before. This was in a totally other sphere. He was going cold turkey, just like Rodney, but he's going through it in the midst of all these people who he's been convinced he can't trust. It's a definite mindwarp.

The fact that the experiences that McKay, Ronon (time 1 vs time 2), Teyla, Ford, and Tyre each had with coming off the enzyme are different just makes sense. They're different people with fundamentally different approaches and internal mechanisms, so I personally had no issues with that. I did think it strange that Keller says several times that they have no idea how long it will take, despite the events of Lost Boys/The Hive. You'd think that Teyla or John might remember how long it took for Ronon to come through the first time, or how long it was before Ford's soldier died. Even if Keller never read the medical reports, you'd *think* they'd have a concept, especially since Tyre had *just* gone through the process.

But! Best not to pay too much attention to the man behind the curtain.

I hadn't considered that Ronon was within a group of people he felt were now on the other side. Interesting.

Sorry to butt in to the discussion, but you mentioned them having no concept of how long it would take for the enzyme to wear off. Ford's gang had refined enzyme in metered doses. Tyre had been on the run for awhile and was obviously already in withdrawal when he captured Ronon. I think they had no idea how long Ronon's detox would take based on the simple fact that he had just been pumped full of the stuff and brainwashed.

Does that make any sense at all?

And yeah, I wish they would have brought up McKay's withdrawal as well. I'm glad this story addressed that. :)

All my conversations are open to anyone,so no apolgies required!

Hmmmm - I see your point. On the other hand, McKay went through withdrawal based (mostly) on a massive single dose, admittedly without brainwashing. Ford's first experience was also based on a single massive dose.

I think my complaint is that they *have* data points... they have *some* idea (or they should) and it seems a bit... lazy? that they keep saying otherwise.

So - it makes sense, but I'm not letting the writers off the hook cause I am just stubborn that way. *laughs*.

Thanks!

That makes some sense. And I don't want to diminish Ronon's pain or Jason's performance, because I can totally buy that it was exactly that horrible. I just hate the idea that Rodney's pain is somehow insignificant to the creators. That that is representative -- that it's possible to consider some people as being somehow less significant than others, their suffering less worthy of compassion.

Very nice.

Thanks!!

very nicely done. Lorne's voice sounded just right to me and his take on McKay was very touching and realistic.

Thank you! I can't imagine Lorne feeling comfortable enough to talk to McKay he would a friend, but I can also see him being unwilling to let it go despite himself. I really like Lorne - he just seems like such a decent guy.

Excellent fic! I was wondering why no mention of Rodney or Teyla's previous encounter with the Wraith enzyme was mentioned. Just Rodney and Teyla sharing a meaningful look would have been something for those of us who pay attention to continuity.

Or, as you have written, maybe the others on the team don't really know that Rodney OD'ed on the Wraith enzyme because it was the only thing he could think of to escape. The rest of the expedition maybe thought it was Rodney with a 'normal' addiction. Maybe Rodney kept that to himself.

Thanks for writing!

Thank you! Me too. But the writers do seem to have a pretty selective memory, so I try to remember to give them some leeway. (*I usually fail, I should add...)

I find it kind of depressingly plausible that the rest of the team wouldn't know. I see it as consistent that they wouldn't think to ask. As for the rest of the expedition, I don't know how many would even have the need to know McKay was going through withdrawal. He came in from offworld and essentially dropped in the gateroom - it's plausible that they might have just been thinking 'funky alien virus' or some such.

Then again, small places = everyone knowing eveything, so maybe they did all know and just didn't process.

:)

Thank you for reviewing!

Hey Skin. :)

You already know most of this, but I am nothing if not repetitive.

I love this. As you know, I was curious about why Rodney would choose not to pipe up about the withdrawal, or why everyone just seemed to be so "Oh my, isn't this new?!" about it, but ya know what? This makes a whole lot of sense. If you feel like I've been saying that a lot in my responses to your fics lately than it's totally your fault for *explaining* things, or something. Seriously, I'm considering making you watch everything that ever had a 'bit' which made no sense with me, and then getting you to write in missing scenes/the aftermath to explain why it is the way it is. But we can discuss terms and payment later. :D

Back to the fic, I *adore* Lorne here. I adored him already, but I love that he is clearly feeling awkward yet makes an attempt to talk to McKay anyway. And then knows when to shut up and leave. I'm like, considering letting him back into my OTT with Hermiod again. Ok ok, I jest... but he really is fabulous, and in this scene they both say so much, *and* give so much away about themselves without actually saying that much at all. (I know I kinda ripped half of that off from you, but I agree, so I stole it. Sorry.)

This also just breaks my heart a bit for McKay too, obviously and it just... makes sense again. Of course he'd want to forget. Plus - there's the added bonus of McKay in nowt but a blue ~~bathroom~~ bathrobe and some bubbles. You really can't go wrong there. :D

Love the writing here too. Your description of the smell is vivid and gross enough to make me feel like *I* recognise it. Which I don't. Because apparently the wraith aren't real, but whatever.

I also have to spare a moment to HEE at --->
"I am not sharing my bath with...." McKay broke off midrant

And naturally, the last line, which rounds it all off so well, is love. :)

Thanks for sharing, now if you're bored waiting for the next episode to come out, I, for one, won't object to you writing 'McKay: The bathtub's perspective.' Just putting it out there...

P.S.

As adorable as Lorne and bubble covered Rodney are, what's going on underneath this aint that cutesy.

Sure, it's not quite SC!Angsty level...

but the SGA hasn't broken you yet. ;)

Yeah, but it's still all "feelgood". I feel like dr strangelove!

*laughing*

The next ep! I have NO idea what to write. DUDE.

Thank you! McKay in a blue bathroom (or bathrobe) is just made of love. And, thanks to The Penthouse and my screencaps, I now have Blue Towel, too!

I think McKay was deeply, deeply embarrassed by what happened in the Hive. A guy with his insecurities would have to be just about ready to die of humiliation at the utter loss of control, and that *someone saw it*. I could definitely see that no one apparently remembers as a relief.

At the same time, Lorne seems a true team player. As irritating as he can find McKay, he strikes me as a fundamentally good guy, who wouldn't be able to keep himself from asking even if he was pretty sure the question would be unwelcome. This of course translates into his extreme awkwardness in asking (and McKay's in avoiding answering), and in the bluntness Lorne comes out with.

I can also see McKay as being geniunely touched that Lorne cared enough to ask.

And - uh - yeah - that's why I wrote it that way. I love Lorne, and McKay is the light of my world, so despite it being less likely to be read than a McShep would have been I'm glad I went this way.

*hugs*

Lovely scene!

Thank you!

This was lovely! It was nice to see the theme of Rodney's own enzyme experiences, which wasn't explored in the show. You've captioned Lorne's reaction perfectly here, concerned with a hint of awkwardness, but fundimentally willing to make the effort and be a team player. :)

I loved this piece of description - He reached out and caught the little pile of bubbles on McKay's shoulder right before they slid off. The bubbles felt cool and light in his hand. He wiped them off against his hip and turned to leave.

Thank you! This show does have a history of not exploring. Oh well - more fanfic for us!

I'm glad you liked the bubbles, especially since without them I had no ending. I also kind of liked the idea of Lorne reaching out awkwardly, which I suppose could be sort of a metaphor for the whole scene. :)

Cheers!

Loved this piece!

Recced it over at

stargateficre here: http://community.livejournal.com/stargateficrec/1156139.html :)

Thank you for the lovely recommendation! Thank you also for reading. :)

Very nicely done. I liked both of the voices in this, and the entire premise.

Thank you! I can totally see Lorne and McKay striking up an infrequent but genuine friendship.

Oh, Lorne! Oh, Rodney! *huggles both*

My favorite line was "I am not sharing my bath with...." McKay broke off midrant, eyes widening in surprise at seeing Lorne. "Uh. Well. Actually. Not with you either." Hee! That was cute! :D

Hahaha. Rodney surprised me with that line actually, so I am extra glad it is your favourite.

I love your icon. Lorne rocks, doesn't he?

Lorne may not be a major (sorry for the pun) attraction for me on the show, but he does have a significant role on it (and in my heart), as do many other recurring characters (which is why No.More.SGA is made of fail).

There are so many touching emotions that are evoked by your story. I can see this Lorne, especially, being born during The Last Man when Sheppard was lost for 12 days. During that time, Lorne would have been acting military commander and would have worked more closely with McKay. As Sheppard's 2IC, he already would have learned his lesson well, that it was the military's duty to protect all civilians, especially but not exclusively McKay.

I think Lorne would have also remembered how McKay refused immediate medical assistance in Search and Rescue, saying that Lorne's needs were more urgent. So, even though McKay had the reputation of being a hypochondriac, Lorne knew what the truth was. Stopping by to check on McKay would be quite in character for him, as well as a caring gesture. [And, totally off topic, Lorne's genuine nice-guyness is also evident when he finds out that Teyla is pregnant and he is just ... just ... ::flails:: I have no words to describe how fuzzy and cuddly his supportive reaction made me feel!]

Thank you so much for the lovely scene ... with errant bubbles as a bonus!

Thoughtful hugs,
H.

See, I don't watch SGA for Lorne either, but every time he's in an ep I'm glad to see him.

I hadn't thought about the Last Man implications, but I think you're right. Lorne and McKay very likely had lots of interactions during those 12 days. Hmmm. *damned plot bunnies*.

Thank you for reviewing!

This is lovely. I like the image of Lorne feeling compelled to check on Rodney, regardless of how he feels about the man, and his "selective memory." McKay's relief that there was no one left to remember his breakdown also seems very in-character.

Thank you! When I came up with it I was pleased by how in character they felt. I haven't written Lorne before so I'm glad you feel it works. :)

lovely fic. I like this a lot - it's nice to see these friendly moments between McKay and Lorne.

Thank you! I think so too - I wish there was more McKay and Lorne interactions out there; canon and fanon!

this is very good. I like the interaction between two people who don't necessarily consider each other as more than passing in the corridor colleagues.

Hi there

Thanks! I think that Lorne and McKay have the potential to be friends, but I think they wouldn't become close (without some other event driving them that way)

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Fic: [SGA] A Transient Memory (PG)

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A Transient Memory by skinscript

Re: A Transient Memory by skinscript

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